Children’s Attire Questions for Weddings

Flower Girl Attire

• Here are the basic items you will need for your flower girl’s ensemble: Dress, tights or pretty anklets, dress or ballet shoes, tiara or hair ribbons, jewelry (a pearl necklace as a keepsake is appropriate), flower girl basket or flower bouquet or candle.
• The average age of most flower girls is 3-8 years old. It is advisable to make special arrangements for young flower girls as they can be unpredictable.
  
• It is perfectly acceptable to have two flower girls in place of a flower girl/ring bearer combo. In fact, an interesting trend is to have multiple flower girls in the wedding. This especially works if the bride has young nieces she would like to include and their mother’s are in the wedding party. Imagine the impact of having your sisters walk down the aisle with their young daughters!
  
• Some venues do not allow flower girls to drop flower petals on the aisle. In this case, flower girls are using silk petals (just deconstruct silk flowers of your choice), or holding flower bouquets or artificial candles.
  
• Who pays for the flower girl dresses? The rule of thumb is the parents of the flower girl pay for the dress. This is especially appropriate if the flower girl dress is timeless heirloom quality and can be worn after the wedding (by switching out the colored bows and shoes). There are exceptions to the “who pays” rule. Those exceptions are if the bride and groom are paying for the entire wedding party attire; or if the bride and groom want to give the flower girl her dress as a special gift. These details should be worked out at the point when the bride & groom ask initial permission of the parents for their daughter to be in the wedding so there are no misunderstandings later.

The Unpredictable

Some notes if using younger flower girls (ages 5 and below)

• Younger flower girls are often shy and afraid to walk down the aisle at the moment when the church is full. This can be avoided by having the younger flower girl walk down the aisle with a bridesmaid (preferably her mother if she is in the wedding group.)
  
• Young children are most likely not able to stand during the entire ceremony if their parents are not up front and able to take them under a wing. As insurance, have someone the child trusts sitting in the front 1-2 audience rows to motion the child to sit down if needed.
  
• And remember, one of the reasons young children get so exhausted and out of sorts by the time the wedding ceremony rolls around is going through the agony (to them) of the pre-ceremony photographs. Brides are scheduling 2-4 hour wedding photo sessions PRIOR to the wedding and young children can’t be expected to be tucked in and good for that long and then PERFORM well at the wedding. We recommend the pre-wedding photo session accommodate young children by scheduling their photos no more than 60 minutes before the ceremony. If not, you may risk a MIA angelic flower girl - sleeping in a back room of the church while the ceremony goes on without her.

Ring Bearer Attire and Responsibilities

• Here are the basic items you will need when picking out the Ring Bearer ensemble: Suit or tuxedo, matching socks and dress shoes. The ring bearer pillow will be provided by the bride.
  
• The average age of most ring bearers is 3-8 years old. It is advisable to make special arrangements for the 3-5 year olds as they can be unpredictable on the big day.
  
• It is perfectly acceptable to have two ring bearers in place of a flower girl or in addition to two flower girls. Each ring bearer can carry a ring on his pillow. Note: many grooms choose to have their ring bearers carry faux rings on their pillows and have the best man hold onto the real rings for safe keeping.
  
• Who pays for the ring bearer ensemble? The rule of thumb is the parents of the ring bearer pay for the suit or tux rental. This is especially appropriate if the bride chooses a ring bearer suit (vs. tux) of timeless heirloom quality and can be worn after the wedding. There are exceptions to the “who pays” rule. Those exceptions are if the bride and groom are paying for the entire wedding party attire; or if the bride and groom want to give the ring bearer the suit as a special gift. These details should be worked out at the point when the bride & groom ask initial permission of the parents for their son to participate in the wedding so there are no misunderstandings later.

The Unpredictable

Some notes if using younger ring bearers (ages 5 and below)

• Younger ring bearers are often shy and afraid to walk down the aisle at the moment when the church is full. This can be avoided by having the younger ring bearer walk down the aisle with a groomsman (preferably his father if he is in the wedding group.)
  
• Young children are most likely not able to stand during the entire ceremony if their parents are not up front and able to take them under a wing. As insurance, have someone the child trusts sitting in the front 1-2 audience rows to motion the child to sit down if needed.
  
• And remember, one of the reasons young children get so exhausted and out of sorts by the time the wedding ceremony rolls around is going through the agony (to them) of the pre-ceremony photographs. Brides are scheduling 2-4 hour wedding photo sessions PRIOR to the wedding and young children can’t be expected to be tucked in and good for that long and then PERFORM well at the wedding. We recommend the pre-wedding photo session accommodate young children by scheduling their photos no more than 60 minutes before the ceremony. If not, you may risk a MIA angelic ring bearer - sleeping in a back room of the church while the ceremony goes on without him.